Everday Miracles

I know in the past I have talked about of my favorite books, "Autobiography of a Yogi." Paramahansa Yogananda was a Hindu Christian who taught both theologies. The book is BEAUTIFULLY written with loads and loads of OUTSTANDING truths. Here is a part of the book I wanted to share with you all. I LOVE what he says here. It has inspired me to really think.

"A 'miracle' is commonly considered to be an effect or event without law, or beyond law. But all events in our precisely adjusted universe are lawfully wrought and lawfully explicable. The so-called miraculous powers of a great master are a natural accompaniment to his exact understanding of subtle laws that operate in the inner cosmos of consciousness.

Nothing may truly be said to be a 'miracle' except in the profound sense that everything is a miracle. That each of us is encased in an intricately organized body, and is set upon earth whirling through space among the stars-is anything more commonplace? or more miraculous?

Great prophets like Christ and Lahiri Mahasaya usually perform many miracles. Such masters have a large and difficult spiritual mission to execute for mankind; miraculously helping those in distress appears to be part of that mission. Divine fiats are required against incurable diseases and insoluble human problems. When Christ was asked by the nobleman to heal his dying son at Capernaum, Jesus relied with wry humor: 'Except ye see signs and wonder, ye will not believe.' But he added: 'Go thy way; thy son liveth.' (John 4:46-54)

In this chapter I have given the Vedic explanation of maya, the magical power of illusion that underlies the phenomenal worlds. Western science has already discovered that 'magic' of unreality pervades atomic 'matter.' However, it is not only Nature, but man also (in his mortal aspect) who is subject to maya: the principle of relativity, contrast, duality, inversion, oppositional states.

It should not be imagined that the truth about maya was understood only by the rishis. The Old Testament prophets called maya by the name of Satan (lit. in Hebrew 'the adversary'). The Greek Testament, as an equivalent for Satan, uses diabolos or devil. Satan or Maya is the cosmic magician who produces multiciplicity of forms to hide the One Formless Verity. In God's plan or play (lila), the sole function of Satan or Maya is an attempt to divert man from Spirit to matter, from Reality to unreality.

Christ describes maya picturesquely as a devil, a murderer, and a liar. 'The devil.....was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.' (John 8:44)

'The devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.' (I John 3:8) That is, the manifestation of Christ Consciousness, within man's own being, effortlessly destroys the illusions or 'works of the devil.'

Maya is 'from the beginning' because of it's structural inherence in the phenomenal worlds. These are ever in transitional flux as antithesis to the Divine Immutability."

I have really enjoyed finding so many congruent truths in many different places. I have my Christian beliefs that I was raised with. I am so thankful for them and LOVE to learn as much as I can about my Savior, who he was and is how he lived his life. As I have read other religious books that I have found some AMAZING ideas that all coincide with my personal spiritual beliefs. This only tells me that you can find the ultimate truths in most religious and spiritual theologies. Here's a short video with thoughtful singing and pictures of Paramahansa.

Today hasn't been SUPER hard with the whole morning sickness thing. Not like my last post anyway. I am still just working on emotionally being ok with the whole thing. I feel like it just sprang on us and I think my control freak brain is having a REALLY tough time letting that sink in. There is a part of me that is feeling bad, like there is something wrong with me, that I am having such a hard time eating all raw. But....then I feel torn by another side that is stating it's all good and things are as they should be, just accept and be grateful. That I am really doing the BEST I can right now. I think that side is winning out more than the all raw side which to be honest, is a blessing right now.

My sister stated once that there were only 2 words to describe pregnancy. They are lethargy and apathy. I used to think she was right on and she pretty much is with the lethargy part but I have found, especially this pregnancy, that I am the opposite of apathy. There is part of me that I wish could care less about SO many things right now. This morning my kids put in one of their favorite CD's which is just a whole bunch of songs they really like. I sat and bawled as I listened to them. It was such a surreal, strange experience to FEEL the music so well. I have turned into a bawl baby!! I was actually thankful this morning to be able to really appreciate my new sensations and just enjoy the process of crying and releasing. This is SO ABNORMAL for me that I have to really let myself let go and just feel. What a new time for growth and learning!!

Here is what I ate yesterday.
Wednesday, November 14th:
1-2 quarts of water
water & powdered greens
2 bananas
2 1/2 quarts green smoothie
1 banana
Edemame
2 avocado sushi rolls
1 cucumber sushi roll
1/2 of a cocoa mole Lara Bar

So far today I have had:
Thursday, November 15th:
1 quart of water
fresh apple and carrot juice with powered green
3 grapefruits
2 cups eggs with potatoes
For dinner, I will be having green soup with artichoke hearts and probably the rest of my Lara Bar from yesterday.

I am excited and sad for Thanksgiving. I am excited just because it is SUCH a FUN holiday!! But I am sad because I feel so sick and I am afraid all the smells will do me in. I will just be grateful that most other people feel great and have a JOYFUL time with their families and loved ones.

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Hanging in There

I thought I would post again before time gets away from me. Today was an AWFUL day!! The sickest I have been yet. I didn't even get out of bed until about 1 pm. Thanks goodness for a WONDERFUL husband and my mother in law. My in laws live with us and she has been such an AWESOME help during this past week. I am SO thankful to her!! Also, I feel so BLESSED that my children are older. Well, old enough to be able to entertain themselves and if need be, feed themselves. My oldest is 11 and such a lifesaver sometimes. I was able to lay in bed this morning undisturbed. SO NICE!!

I figure I'll go ahead and get the food out of the way.

Monday, November 12th I ate:
1-2 quarts of water
water & powdered greens
2 bananas
1 1/2 quarts green smoothie
1 grapefruit
Corn Tortilla wrap which consist of hummus, romaine, smoked dulse, tomatoes, salsa and green sauce. LOVE IT!! This is another GREAT transitional food. You can even put raw hummus in it and then it's mostly raw.
1 English cucumber
3 oranges
handful of peanuts
water & powdered greens

Tuesday, November 13th:
1-2 quarts of water
2 bananas
2 quarts green smoothie
1 banana
Tofu Lettuce Wraps from P.F. Chang's
Mixed Veggies from P.F. Chang's
Izze's Sparkling Pomegranate Juice
Cocoa Mole Lara Bar
16 oz. orange mint water
water & powdered greens

It was all I could do today to even eat. Nothing sounded good and by the time dinner rolled around I told Chris he had to take me somewhere to eat because everything sounded DISGUSTING!! Luckily, the lettuce wraps were DELICIOUS!! I can't remember the last time I was SO THANKFUL when food tasted good! I sure have been appreciating when things taste good and I don't feel sick!

Emotionally, life seem overwhelming. It has been hard for me to wrap my brain around doing so little. Last night at our little group, my friend David was talking to everyone and called my pregnancy my "confinement." This actually made me feel SO much better about being such a slacker. Even though today felt so awful, I was able to get a few things done in regards to cleaning part of my house. That was really nice. But.....I just keep praying that I can accept my current situation and do what I can do help myself deal with it better emotionally, physically and spiritually. Today was harder to find that space of gratitude but when I get those few moments of peace, it makes it much easier.

I have been using digestive enzymes when I eat cooked foods. There is a book that was written called "Enzyme Nutrition" by Edward Howell. I read it years and years ago when I first went raw. It's a great book but in it he talks about taking digestive enzymes when eating heavier foods and the benefits of just taking them on a regular basis. Ever since I got out of the hospital years ago, I have taken them and found they really helped. I think they have helped with my nausea a bit, which is AWESOME! This is a very informative book in regards to why someone might consider eating more raw foods.

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the prayers. I can tell they are really helping to keep my spirits up. It has been such a blessing to have so many AMAZING people in my life who care so much about me and my family. I am so grateful, from the bottom of my heart. I am sure I might be in a worse place without your LOVE!

I think I am done posting for today. I am sorry I don't have more to post. Hopefully something will come to me soon but....my brain feels out of sorts and a bit slow lately.

Abundant peace,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Raw Food, Milk & Eggs

Since I have been so excited about posting videos, I decided to post another one. I really like this one and it is only a minute long. It is showing the normal process of delivery. Imagine going though this process in only one minute. Talk about painful!!!

I just think it's really cool how they showed all the correct movements of the baby and the restitution and so forth. I showed this to my kids one day for home school and they really enjoyed it. I decided to show it to them because Golden had been asking how exactly babies are made. I was really grateful for all my anatomy and physiology books to be able to show, I guess it was only Dean and Golden, some of the things that take place when babies are made. Some of the information was a bit too much for them but we stopped when they decided they didn't want to hear anymore. It enjoyed teaching them about this since, of course, it's one of my favorite subjects.

I am excited about posting another video too. It is EDUCATIONAL along with being BEAUTIFUL. It looks like it was put together by an midwife in Oregon. It might have some scenes that are too graphic for some of you. It is only a montage of pictures but....it does show woman and babies during and after birth. I really LIKE this one. I hope everyone else does too!!

Ummm......I am just going to throw it out there. I ate EGGS. Can you believe it? I actually can't. Yesterday morning Chris came up stairs with an omelet he had made for himself. I wanted to eat some SO BAD!! I don't know if any of you can relate but when I am pregnant and feel so nauseated, I sometimes obsess about eating something because it is the ONLY thing that sounds good.

I went to whole day without eating any until last night I couldn't stand it anymore. We went over to a friend's house for a get together and she was making pasta and foods I don't eat so....she asked me what I wanted. She had actually already made a salad for me but it sounded and even looked so DISGUSTING to me. (I know Shauna isn't be offended, she understood so I hope others don't think I am being rude.) Then, like an out of body experience, when she asked I said, "I am REALLY craving eggs but I want the yolk really runny and I want to dip whole wheat toast in it." She went ahead and poached me 4 eggs and I ate EVERY ONE with 2 pieces of organic whole wheat toast. I must admit, it was DELICIOUS!! I ate it VERY slow and savored every bite.

I was worried that eating it might make me sicker. Yesterday was the WORST day I have had yet. I was SO sick the whole day and basically laid in bed the whole day. The only reason I ended up going out is because I was going stir crazy with cabin fever. I knew that I could sit around or lay around, if need be, at Shauna's house. But.....I actually feel better today, so far, than I did yesterday. I am SOOOOO grateful for that. Like I said in my last post, I don't think there is any rhyme or reason to my nausea. One thing I have noticed is when I feel angrier or more stressed than normal, I feel a lot sicker. If I had anything to kind of peg it on, I think it would be MUCH more emotional or energetic than anything else.

I thought I would post some thoughts about eggs that Gandhi wrote in one of his writings. I find it interesting. For you strong raw foodist out there, I am not posting this because I even believe it to be true. What I do believe to be true about the story is that there is a TIME and a PLACE for everything that might be beneficial and helpful to us on our path to health and healing. Do I think I was craving the eggs because my body and baby needed them? I don't know and to be honest, I don't really care. For whatever reason, I wanted eggs and whether emotionally or physically they helped me for the time being. I hope that makes sense to others and we can all open our hearts and minds to remove judgement to be open to any healing modality that might aid in helping us achieve our hearts desire.

Here is what Gandhi has to say. Someone is asking him a question about what he feels about eggs in the vegetarian diet. Here is his response.

Eggs are a high-protein food; are they forbidden to satyagrahis?"
"Not unfertilized eggs." The Mahatma laughed reminiscently. "For years I would not countenance their use; even now I personally do not eat them. One of my daughters-in-law was once dying of malnutrition; her doctor insisted on eggs. I would not agree, and advised him to give her some egg-substitute.

"'Gandhiji,' the doctor said, 'unfertilized eggs contain no life sperm; no killing is involved.'
"I then gladly gave permission for my daughter-in-law to eat eggs; she was soon restored to health."

I remember when I first came out the hospital weighing only 95 lbs. after my near death experience. Because I had bowel surgery and TONS of antibiotics, someone mentioned that might consider eating some raw goat yogurt. At the time, it was VERY hard for me to be open to it since I hadn't eaten dairy in years. Chris was worried and asked me to try it. I did for about a month and to be honest, I am grateful that I did. I believe it did help in my healing process. Here are some thoughts on dairy from Gandhi. Again, I believe in an all raw vegan diet, I am just throwing some ideas out there to help us really think about the choices we are making and staying open so we can either help ourselves or maybe even someone else who might need it. I am learning that in life, there are VERY FEW absolutes and that even includes what we eat.

"I have always been favour of pure vegetarian diet. But experience has taught me that in order to be perfectly fit, vegetarian diet must include milk and milk-products such as curd, butter, ghee, etc. This a significant departure from my original idea. I excluded milk from my diet for six years. At that time, I felt none the worse for the denial. But in year 1917, as a result of my ignorance, I was laid down with severe dysentery. I was reduced to a skeleton, but I stubbornly refused to take any medicine and with equal stubbornness refused to take milk or buttermilk. But I could not build up my body and pick up sufficient strength to leave the bed. I had taken a vow of not taking milk. A medical friend suggested that at the time of taking a vow, I could have in my mind only the milk of cow and buffalo; why would the vow prevent me from taking goat's milk? My wife supported him and I yielded. Really speaking, for one who has given up milk, though at the time of taking the vow only the cow and the buffalo were in mind, milk should be taboo. All animal milks have practically the same composition, though the proportion of the components varies in each case. So I may be said to have kept merely the letter, not the spirit, of the vow. But that as it may, goat's milk was produced immediately and I drank it. It seemed to bring me new life. I picked up rapidly and was soon able to leave the bed. On account of this and several similar experiences, I have been forced to admit the necessity of adding milk to the strict vegetarian diet. But I am convinced that in the vast vegetable kingdom there must be some kind, which, while supplying those necessary substances which we derive from milk and meat, is free from their drawbacks, ethical and other."

Please understand that by posting these ideas on my blog, I am not promoting eggs or dairy products. I am only hoping, as I have already stated, that we can all keep an open mind and help others or maybe even ourselves, if need be.

Here is my diet over the last couple of days.

Friday, November 9th:
1-2 quart of water
1 cup OJ with powdered greens
2 cups red raspberry/peppermint tea
3 grapefruits
2 quarts green drink
2 bananas
2 Big bowlfuls of salad from Olive Garden
1 cup water with powdered greens

What I do when I go to Olive Garden is I ask for the all you can eat salad but then I have them tweak it a bit. I ask them to change to lettuce to all romaine, no croutons or onions, extra olives and tomatoes. It is SO YUMMY!!

Saturday, November 10th:
1-2 quart of water
1 cup OJ mixed with powdered greens
2 bananas
2 quarts green drink
1 1/2 quarts green soup
4 eggs with 2 pieces whole wheat toast
1 apple
1 cup water mixed with powdered greens

I don't think I will be eating anymore eggs any time soon though. I have found that when I eat something once, I usually don't want it again for awhile. That kind of sucks since I am used to eating so many of the same things every day. Oh well.

Until next time.
Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Routine Birth

Since I have been talking about laughter and pregnancy, I wanted to post a funny Monty Python skit that was recently sent to one of the Yahoo groups I am in. Please understand, I mean no offense to those of you who have hospital births. I do respect the medical world and what they can and have done for me and my family. It just seemed to me that some of the hospital births I have attended things do kind of go like this. I think things tend to become so routine in hospitals that they forget what pregnancy and birth is really all about. I hope everyone gets a good laugh and enjoys watching.

I actually woke up this morning feeling not as sick. I am still trying to figure out if there is really any rhyme or reason to my nausea. It's funny because in my last post I stated that kombucha was helping me but.....then yesterday I just couldn't bring myself to drink it. Also, the bar that I posted didn't sound good either. I think it's kind of funny that what I thought would work, now sounds disgusting.

But, part of the reason I am hoping I feel better today is because I ate all raw yesterday. It actually didn't feel too hard because I wasn't really craving. I hardest part with this whole process is feeling the need to eat all day long because when I do I tend to feel better. My mind now is CONSTANTLY thinking about what I am going to eat next because NOTHING sounds good. Oh....it really SUCKS!! I went from really never thinking about food and just eating when the hunger kicked in to eating all day long when I don't even feel hungry. I am sorry you guys but part of the reason I am going to be posting more is so I can complain a bit. It helps me to know that I might have an empathetic ear.

Chris made another good point this morning, which I think I talked about in my last post. That is when I feel better to just be grateful. This morning I had some fears creep in as to why I might be feeling better. All kinds of things that I think every pregnant woman thinks. I VERY quickly dismissed those thoughts and decided to just let my heart feel grateful that this morning wasn't as bad as yesterday morning. I do feel VERY grateful to state that I have never had a miscarriage and neither has my only blood sister who has had children. I met a woman who had several miscarriages throughout her childbearing years and my heart felt her sorrow over her loss. So I just said a little prayer for her in my heart. She was just SO cute though. She is pregnant now and ready to deliver any day. I will keep praying for her that all will go well.

Here is what I ate yesterday. It all tasted VERY good. I think I am finding that drinking green smoothies all day long really helps the MOST of anything else I have tried. It keeps something in my stomach and even though it doesn't initially sound good, it always tastes good when I drink it.

Thursday, November 8th:
1-2 quarts of water
1/2 cup OJ mixed with Vitamineral green powder and Primal Defense powder
1 banana
2 1/2 quarts of green smoothie (sipped on every hour)
1 quart green soup with spinach, celery, green onion, avocado, tomato, sea lettuce, dulse, water and chopped marinated artichoke hearts. This tasted SOOOO good.
3 grapefruits
1 pomegranite
1/2 cup OJ mixed with green powders

Oh, and here is what I ate the day before. Which tasted really good but gave me REALLY bad indigestion.

Wednesday, November 7th:
1-2 quarts of water
1/2 cup OJ mixed with green powders
2 quarts green drink
2 bananas
Some pear with a tall glass of fresh OJ which my friend Christa juiced for me
2 Sprouted wheat "pizzas" See recipe from earlier post!!
1 cup raw lemonade
A few pieces of dried mango
1 pomengrante

Lastly, I just wanted to post this AMAZING picture of what my baby might look like at 6 weeks gestation. It is FUN to think he/she has already formed to this extent and most of that forming took place when I didn't even know it was happening. Isn't God and our bodies just so AWESOME? Even though I still have some issues to work out about this baby and pregnancy, I am THANKFUL that I am blessed with another life to help come into this world and begin their path to God, Heavenly Mother and their Savior.

I hope everyone is having a GRAND November getting ready for Thanksgiving and all the festivities. My prayers and LOVE is sent to all of you!!

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Morning Sickness Aids

Oh my goodness.....complete nausea has kicked in. I wake up all through the night with urges to vomit. Thankfully after a few deep breaths the urge subsides a bit until the next wave comes. Since it has been almost 6 years since the last time I felt this way, I am a bit OVERWHELMED by it. At least with my other 4 children, I felt it every couple of years. Pratt, my youngest, will be just turning 6 by the time I deliver this baby. I can't believe how huge a gap that is.

I just had a friend email me who made a comment about how if I still nauseated during this pregnancy than I probably had more detoxing to do. You know, she is right on!!! But.....not from a physical stand point. I believe it is more emotional/energetic. I first must say that even though I do feel pretty gross, it isn't near what I felt in my previous pregnancies. I am still semi functionable now which in the past I was down and out for months. I watched A LOT of movies and took many naps. Today I actually got up and got dressed. I even did my hair and put some mascara on. That's doing pretty good, in my mind, comparatively speaking.

When I wake in the early morning hours with nausea, I lay there and do some really deep breathing while praying and saying some LOVING affirmations to myself. This helps IMMENSELY. I couldn't believe how much it helped this morning. It wasn't like my nausea disappeared but....I received some relief almost immediately. Then when the relief comes, I just strive to keep my heart in a place of gratitude that I even felt the tiniest amount!!

I have found that actually staying grateful throughout the whole day helps the MOST!! Every time I can get something done or even feel good for even a moment, my heart sings songs of thankfulness for that moment of reprieve. I am telling you.....one thing I have REALLY noticed is just how humble I feel. When you feel so gross on a consistent basis, it puts into this world of really having to turn your heart to God and your Savior. In the past, I felt I was praying all day long but now I realize how much more I could have been praying because now I am doing it.

I have found a new LOVE for my Heavenly Mother. I have felt her close to me for years but over this past year....I have needed the connection and teaching of a angelic being who has been though all I am going through. I just feel SOOOOOOOO blessed that I have someone to talk to who completely understands my pain and sorrow. I am thankful for a Savior who already atoned for my pain so as I stay humble and soft hearted and especially GRATEFUL, I can easily and effectively turn my sorrows and woes to Him and he will LOVINGLY and GRACIOUSLY take them. With where I am at on my path at this time in my life, this speak volumes and volumes of LOVE and COMPASSION to my heart and soul. I DESPERATELY need it!!

From a physical stand point, I have found a couple of things that are helping with my nausea that I thought I would share. First, I am drinking green smoothies almost all day long. I find that keeping something in my stomach helps TONS!! And just sipping on green smoothies takes the edge off where I feel I can deal with life. So nice!!!

Also, I don't know if any of you remember when I was a kombucha freak but.....I remembered telling my clients to drink it to help with their nausea. Many of them stated that it helped. I haven't drank it in a good couple of years. So last night I was in Good Earth and grabbed G.T.'s Synergy Guava Kombucha and it worked WONDERS!! Which is kind of ironic since I think it says on the bottle that it's supposed to do that. LOL!! It actually helped so much. I couldn't believe it.

Something else that seemed to work is my new favorite "power bar." I don't think it's actually a power bar but I don't know what to call it. One of my clients first showed it to me several months ago and I never really thought another thing of it. Then I found it at Good Earth a few weeks ago and was in heaven. Now it's not raw but pretty close, I think anyway. It is called Green + Chocolate Energy Bars. It is DELICIOUS!! I ate one late last night when I started feeling really nausea again and it seem to really help. So....there are my ideas that seem to be working so far. I am SOSOSOSOSOSO GRATEFUL and I pray they keep working.

I have decided that I am going to eat mostly raw during this pregnancy. I am pretty sick in the mornings so it takes all my self discipline to eat since I don't feel like it. Here is what I ate yesterday:

November 7th:
quart or more of water with wintergreen essential oil in it
2 quarts green smoothies. I sip on this throughout the day.
My favorite salad from Chili's which consists of romaine lettuce, guacamole, pico de gallo, corn cut off the cob, and salsa. YUMMY!!
1 Greens + energy bar
1 bottle of guava kombucha
By midnight I was still awake and nauseated, so going against everything inside of me that says to not eat late at night I went ahead and did so I wouldn't vomit.
2 cups mixed veggies that were lightly steamed

There ya have it!!

Abundant peace to all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Some New Gossip

Well......I am QUITE shocked but felt the need to share the news. I am PREGNANT!!! I went to a conference from Thursday afternoon to Saturday afternoon this last weekend and sometime Friday afternoon, I started feeling queasy and nauseated. By dinner that night NOTHING sounded good. Those feelings have not stopped since then. I didn't even really think anything of it until Sunday night when I realized I was nauseated before and after eating but...while eating I felt GREAT!! Then I woke up yesterday morning around 5 am wide awake from my queasiness. So, Chris finally went to All a Dollar and bought a pregnancy test (which by the way he has NEVER done in all our marriage) and obviously it was positive, hence writing this post. I then spent the next several hours crying and feeling overwhelmed!! I am still trying to wrap my brain around the idea of having another baby.

We were NOT planning this at all and had been using our same form of birth control that has seemed to work for years. I am 5 weeks along and will be due around July 9th. (I have a theory about woman and strongest ovulation times of the year. Mine would be October. Dean's birthday is July 31st and Pratt is July 16th.) I think I am pretty sure when I got pregnant. I don't usually start feeling sick until around 6 weeks so....I think I might be a little farther along than what the pregnancy chart says. At this point in time, we are planning an unassisted birth. We may have one extra person just for extra hands but....that could be subject to change depending on how my hubby feels about it.

Part of the reason I am sending this post is because I am asking for lots of LOVE and PRAYERS to be sent our way. The kids are ECSTATICALLY happy, yet concerned for my health. Chris is really excited about this baby but I feel a bit scared and apprehensive. We believe that all will go BEAUTIFULLY and I will be HEALTHY and STRONG throughout my pregnancy and birth but it would be nice just to have the added strength of all my AMAZING friends. We love you all!!! Thanks for being there for us!!

I am hoping that because I have eaten so healthy for so long, my nausea will not become to severe. In the past, it has been unbearable with consistent vomiting. At this point, it is manageable which I must say, I have been THANKING God for. That is an AWESOME blessing for me right now. I am still eating a little cooked food. At one point in time, I really thought I wanted to have an all raw pregnancy. Now, I am not so sure. I am praying and contemplating what I think will be best for me and baby. Also, I am in that faze of pregnancy where NOTHING sounds good and really the only reason I even eat is with the hopes that I will have a moments reprieve from feeling sick. But I have found that I really am not craving because of the nausea. So...that could be a good thing because then I just eat what I know is best for me, no matter what.

As I have stated on other posts, when I started eating some cooked I started gaining weight. I have actually only been eating cooked foods for about 3 months now and gained about 10 lbs. I went from about 110-115 lbs. to 120-125 lbs. As I stated above, we have used the same birth control our whole marriage and we have never gotten pregnant unless we were trying. Chris has a theory, which I am just throwing out there I am not sure if I buy it or not, but...he believes over the past couple of years I was too thin and wasn't fully ovulating every month. Like I said, I hope any devout raw foodist doesn't freak out by that comment, I just thought I would mention other thought processes to get you all thinking. I am pretty sure I was ovulating each month but....just never got pregnant. Chris, I think, is wondering if because of my surgery, my body just wasn't healed enough to carry another life. Who knows?

I am still in shock and am trying to let it sink in. I will probably be posting more on my feeling during this pregnancy, than anything else. I can tell I will need the support!! I have been SO grateful for all the LOVE that has already been sent my way. But...I will also be posting because it helps me to emotionally process and understand exactly what I might be feeling. I feel SO blessed that I have learned SO much over the past couple of years about energy work and emotional processing. This has actually helped my nausea more than ANYTHING.

There is a VERY INFORMATIVE and BEAUTIFUL website called Birth Into Being. They discuss the emotional side of pregnancy in a EXCELLENT article on waterbirth. I LOVE this article and usually give it to my clients to read also. It states much more than the common knowledge about birth and pregnancy that is in most circles. Reading that article was nothing new to me but just helped enlighten what I already believed. If any of you are interested in home birth, I would recommend purchasing the DVD they offer. It is one of the MOST INSPIRING birth videos I have ever seen. For those of you who want to know more about my previous births, just look on my home birth page on my site.

So....there it is. I will post again soon on how I am feeling and what I am eating. Thank you SO much for being there for me, ALL OF YOU!!! My heart is SO FULL of LOVE for you all!!! Each of you have changed my life for the better in one way or another and I feel you are all my brothers and sisters.

Abundant peace,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley

I LOVE to LAUGH!!

I think I was recently discussing in my raw foods yahoo group how much I have been LOVING laughing lately. Laughing has helped me to really stay happy and find joy and peace so MUCH easier. Here is a GREAT article I found on the health benefits of laughter. There is TONS of info in the internet, if you want to research it more.

Ricky Gervais is one of the FUNNIEST and most ENTERTAINING people I have EVER seen. I must say that I LOVE British humor so....if you are not into it, then you may not think this is funny. Chris first told me about him when he bought the British version of the show "The Office." This series is truly one of the most HYSTERICAL things I have EVER seen. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed so hard!! Then Chris and I one night started delving through the You Tube videos and found this one. I have been wanting to post it for some time but....I am a bit slow and it took me FOREVER to figure out how to post it on your blog. I think I finally figured it out and now I can share the joy of laughter with all of you. I just want to forewarn that there is a bit of swearing in this and in the series, so if you find that offensive you may not want to watch this! For those who do watch it, I hope your day has been uplifted and you feel refreshed and rejuvenated!!

There is a FUN little website put together by a woman named Karen Bishop. I signed up to receive her latest energy alerts. I really enjoy them!! One day I was reading one to Chris and, of course, he was making fun of me and my "out there" ideas. Well, it was SO funny because the further I read, the more it hit home in his life and pertained to what he was going through. I was laughing so hard by the end. I can't even tell you how many times that has happened with all my VOODOO stuff. Life is such a great learning ground, isn't it?

Well....anyway I was reading today's and I thought I would post some of what she says. She is talking about the current fire issues in California and how that is affecting all of us in one way or another. You can read the whole article HERE! I am just posting a small piece of what she says. I know it can be a bit "out there" and though I feel she speaks lots of truth, I am grateful for the articles because I take what I might need from them and leave the rest!!

"Some might say that we are being attacked by the darkness, as it does not want the light to take over and shine so brilliantly. But this is only a lower level interpretation stemming from the minds we operated from which resided in a lower vibrating reality. We no longer live in those states of dis-connect from our higher level selves. And in this way, the polarity and blaming things of the outside can no longer exist. Thus, it becomes more evident than ever, that we are simply purging and releasing all the darkness within us. And as the true lightworkers that we are, we transmute these darker and denser energies through ourselves.

So in this way, all we can seemingly see is darkness, darkness everywhere. This is because it is up and out, leaving, and it can hide no more. I have not seen or experienced or felt this much of the darker energies all at once for several years. This state we currently find ourselves in is a very common phase of the ascension process, and very normal indeed. It simply means that we are, as always, right on track as we climb the ascension ladder, and are moving some big chunks of darkness, assisting them on their way to a new and better matching residency."

What else? I am currently reading a book called "The Jackrabbit Factor." It has been interesting but I am still trying to decide what I really think of it. This week, because of an immense gift from some person who I feel so GRATEFUL for, I am attending an "Art of Womanhood" Conference. I wasn't going to be able to attend and I thought I would want to go. We couldn't afford it!! A very good friend of mine emailed to tell me they had a full paid scholarship available and I might be able to get it. I called the woman in charge immediately and I GOT IT!! So....if for some strange reason, the person who donated the money for me to go is reading this, I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH!! My heart is so FULL of LOVE for your gift!! I will be "paying it forward" at some later date, I am sure!

Anywho, I am reading the book with the intent to discuss it at the conference. I think I was meant to find it to help Chris more than me. Chris NEVER reads and I recommended that he read it so....he started it yesterday and is already half way done. It is a pretty easy read but it teaches the basic idea that thoughts are things! I have decided that if this is a new concept to you then this is an EXCELLENT book to teach the idea! So...I would recommend to those people who just recently saw the movie "The Secret" or are just beginning on the path of our creative power! I will keep you posted on my final consensus of it when I finish.

Now the diet. Um....yesterday I ate:

October 28th:

1-2 quarts of water

1 cup OJ with green powder and herbs

lots of grapes

2 quarts of green drink

more grapes

Large salad with our homemade pizzas DELICIOUS!!

So....I used to teach about our homemade pizzas at my transition classes. David came over for dinner last night and had been requesting raw food. Well, since I have to cook for my family, it is hard to want to make more than one meal. Instead I remembered this dish that is basically "almost raw", if there is such a thing. LOL!! It's a lot of FUN, TASTY, and VERY healthy!! Here is how you make it. I think EVERYONE should try it and eat it!! We all LOVE them.

First, preheat your oven to about 375 degrees. Then, you take the Ezekial Sprouted Wheat Tortillas. You can make your own raw pizza sauce which is what I used to do (I think I have a recipe for it in my Rachel Raw Recipes book), or at Good Earth they sell the BEST pasta/pizza sauce EVER. It is in a blue can with on the pasta isle. So....spread that on your wheat tortilla. Then you cover the sauce with any fruit or veggies you want on your pizza. Last night we had pineapple, olives, onions, tomatoes, red bell peppers, marinated artichoke hearts, raw cheese, mushrooms! That is all I can remember anyway. But....just like any pizza you can put anything you want on it. Then....you take and VERY CAREFULLY put it directly onto the rack in the oven. It only needs to stay in for about 5 minutes, maybe even less. When it is done, take it out, cut in pieces and ENJOY!! This is SO YUMMY, I promise.

That is all for today. God bless you all!!

Abundant peace,

Rachel

by Rachel Talley

The Whale Song

I have always been fascinated with humpback whales. From what I read about them, they are AMAZING creatures. I received an email about a humpback whale being saved which is a GREAT article. It can be found HERE!! The article inspired me to do some research and learn more about humpback whales. I remember learning about them in the past but....I was once again reminded of what beautiful creatures they are.

Right now, I am actually listening to their songs which I found at The Whalesong Project Website. If you click the picture of the whale on their home page, you get 2 hours worth of their songs. I just LOVE them and think the are so melodic and relaxing. Also, they have a very informative FAQ's page that I would recommend reading. Oh, and don't forget all the really cool photos. They are MAGNIFICENT!!

It would be SO EXCITED for me to swim with humpback whales. I don't know, I guess my little girl parts that has always thought they were such special creatures is still present!! This has been A LOT of fun for me. The other really neat part about sea water and animals is some educational info (which I am pretty sure I have posted before but I am going to post again) which states that the mineral content of seawater is almost exact same as our blood. How cool is that? Here is just a tidbit of that info for your reading pleasure.
That the mineral content of seawater is practically the same as blood is significant, and it is a fact, according to Dr Maynard Murray, that seawater contains all the trace minerals needed by humans. Dr Murray demonstrated forcefully that animals fed on his crops fertilized sparingly with diluted seawater exhibited superior growth and health compared to other animals. This is described in Dr Murray's book Sea Energy Agriculture (see Chapter 8). Said Dr Murray:

"The disease resistance of plants and animals in the sea is remarkably different from disease resistance in land animals and comparisons between animals of the same or similar species are most interesting. For example, fresh-water trout all develop terminal cancer of the liver at the average age of 5-1/2 years; cancer has never been found in sea trout. It is also known that all land animals develop arterio sclerosis, yet sea animals have never been diagnosed as arteriosclerotic. Investigators have also established the startling absence of disease in the sea, citing not only the absence of 'chronic' disease forms, but especially the general vigorous health of sea animals that has apparently lengthened life many times in comparison to similar land species. These longevity differences are especially evident in such sea mammals as whales, seals and porpoises who have identical physiological systems with the majority of land animals important to man. And the major differences between sea and land life appear to be attributable to the superior food chain of the sea!"

Dr Murray's many experiments with all kinds of crops and animals all showed dramatic benefits from sea minerals. For instance:

"Started feeding mice both experimental and control, food that was raised on the Ray Heine and Sons Farm. The experimental food had been raised on soil fertilized with 2200 pounds (per acre) complete sea solids. The control food was the same as the experimental with the exception that it was not fertilized with complete sea solids. The food consisted of a combination of one part soybean, two parts oats, four parts corn, balanced food proteins, carbohydrates and fats for mammals.

C3H mice were obtained for this feeding experiment. This strain of mice has been bred so all the females develop breast cancer which causes their demise. The mice were two months of age when received and started on the feeding experiments. The life expectancy of this strain for females is no more than nine months which included the production of two or three litters. The experimental and control groups both consisted of 200 C3H mice and those fed on control food were all dead within eight months seven days. The experimental mice that were fed food grown on the sea solids fertilized soil lived until they were sacrificed at 16 months; definitive examination revealed no cancerous tissue. The experimental group produced ten litters compared to the usual two to three litters and none developed breast cancer.

In the next experiments, twenty-four rabbits were obtained. Twelve were designated experimental and fed on food grown on sea solids while the remaining twelve were labelled control and fed accordingly. All of the rabbits were given a high cholesterol diet for six months which produces hardening of the arteries. The control group did develop hardening of the arteries and all had died within ten months. The experimental group did not exhibit hardening of the arteries."

Another way people can obtain all the colloidal minerals they need is from fresh seawater taken about a teaspoon a day. Health from the Sea and Soil, by Charles B. Ahlson (Exposition Press, NY, 1962), described the remarkable health improvements by people with different ailments gained simply by taking fresh seawater. It is important that the seawater is fresh and unheated, because once heated the minerals lose their colloidal status necessary for the body to properly utilize them.

Fresh kelp and even dehydrated kelp is a good source of minerals from the sea and it is becoming common practice for farmers desiring the best crops while at the same time avoiding poisonous spraying to fertilize them with fertilizers derived from sea kelp.

And finally, on the subject of seawater minerals is a recent item from the Queensland Fruit and Vegetable News:

"There may be hope for Australian deserts if recent Israeli research is any indication.

Today thirsty plants are not only drinking but thriving on seawater at an experimental farm near the town of Ashkelon on the Mediterranean Sea.

Dr Dov Pasternak from the Boyko Institute at Ben Gurion University, is overseeing the project which is studying 150 species of plants irrigated by sea water.

The research into seawater for irrigation is directly related to the successful efforts of Dr Samuel Mendlinger, also from the Boyko Institute, to produce a special strain of sweet, high quality autumn melon grown on brackish water using drip and sprinkler irrigation.

Among other fruits and vegetables being successfully irrigated by saline water from underground aquifers are asparagus, broccoli, sorghum, olives, peas, and pomegranates.

Agricultural production in 14 southern Israel settlements is now based on underground saline water, and instead of costly desalination Israelis are taking advantage of Nature's abundance, learning to harness sea and sub-soil water to grow crops."

Oh, you guys, the books that I recently posted on the side bar of my blog page are AWESOME!! They are even more than awesome. They are eye opening and inspiring. I loved them both but my favorite was "The Hummingbird's Daughter." For you idealists out there, READ IT!! The main character in the book, Theresita, is a REAL person. Luis Alberto Urrea, the writer and descendant of Theresita, has an intriguing article on his site discussing a bit about her life. That will give you an idea of what the book is about. But then.....I just recently found a COOL article that was written at the time that she was arrested. Read it and you will understand that she was a real person with gifts given to her from God. This book changed my life. I can't go on enough about it. Go out and buy it yesterday.

Now to the diet. My yeast infection is pretty much gone. Oh, but I had another great learning experience last night. Chris and I went out to eat at Tucano's. I ate just some salad and steamed veggies. Well, the salad I got, I am sure, had TONS of fat and I think might of even had cream. (even though I didn't realize it til later) But....soon after eating, I had extremely loose bowels and my intestines were being really weird. I didn't have pain or cramping but I could just tell things were NOT moving the way I would like them too!! I am wondering if it might have even been the whole salad bar thing and food just sitting out for a long period of time. Anyway, I won't be doing that again.
When I first went back to eating some cooked, I was pretty mild in the beginning. I normally stay away from grains because I DO NOT like the way I feel eating them. Then I started eating some more processed things just periodically. Oh, like bread. I am NOT a bread fan. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the taste and texture but my body DOES NOT like it. Twice I ate some bread. Big shocker, the bread was the physical manifestation of the yeast infection. It was 2 days later that I got one. So....I must say the infection has been a blessing.

I have gone back to eating mostly raw almost all of the time. It has been years though since I have done any gourmet or even too heavily combined raw foods. I have really never been able to feel good eating that way. I have found, like I have already stated, that I actually do better with lightly steamed veggies than any of the heavily combined high fat, high sugar raw food dishes. Oh, don't miss understand me. I think they ROCK and are usually AMAZINGLY delicious especially Omar's dishes or even Sage's raw dishes. I had my day believing I could eat them and still feel good and have everything function great but soon learned that, for me, that wasn't the case. The less food combining and the more plain and simple my food is the better I feel.

The really FUN thing I have been doing lately is reading over an SO AMAZING website that has TONS of the works and writings of Mahatma Gandhi.

There is a BEAUTIFUL article written about health and diet that teaches is beliefs on the subject. I was reading over it last night. I had read it before but wanted to read it again and get a better feel for it. I was reading over the food section of the article and was, once again, in awe of his light and wisdom. I don't know if I ever mentioned but one of the first books I read that lead me to a path of living a higher vibrational life was his book "Gandhi, An Autobiography." If you haven't read it, another masterpiece of sheer bliss. This is a book I will read over and over. Such excitement and LOVE!!!

Ok, now to what I have been eating. Well, I already mentioned what I ate last night. But...for breakfast and lunch I just had my usual of green drink and grapes. That's basically what I have been eating all day until dinner, as of late. You will find that I stay on the same diet for a short period of time until I try something new and then move on. But....as I have stated in the past my diet is pretty BORING!!

Here is what I ate today:
October 27th:
1+ quart of water
1 cup OJ mixed with green powder and fungal herbs
a few grapes
1 1/2 quarts green smoothie
more grapes
more OJ with green powder and fungal herbs
steamed green beans with salt and nutritional yeast
1 lb. romaine lettuce with smoked dulse seaweed and tomatoes with a green salsa wrapped in a corn tortilla AWESOME!!
2 small chunks Xochi dark chocolate (it's some multi level marketing thing and someone gifted me some chocolate pieces. They are YUMMY and supposed to be VERY healthy almost raw)

Man, now that I look at it, it seems that I ate TONS of food but it doesn't seem like that much when I am eating in it. Oh, and I will take more green drink and herbs again later. There ya go on the food thing.

Lastly, I had a friend ask a question the other day about how she had been all raw the whole summer but as soon as it got cold she was craving EVERYTHING!!! She said she couldn't stand it anymore and gave in. She asked why that was and what she could do about it. I mentioned that I believed it was a pretty strong universal pull at this time of year. That, especially in the United States, we are emotionally and physically preparing for the holidays. I believed that her own childlike parts, along with EVERYONE else's who is also craving was making it quite hard for her to move past those cravings and overwhelming feelings. I could tell she didn't want that to be the answer. She wanted me to tell her some quick fix where all cravings and emotional desires for food all of a sudden disappear. So sorry!! I wish I did have the magic pill but I don't. Sometimes just incorporating some lightly steamed veggies or even sprouted corn tortillas go a LONG way when the winter holiday months "come to town"
so to speak. But....I think as we all strive, as a whole people who are all really connected and one, to move to a space of healthier eating.....we can then move past holiday cravings a bit easier. Not that we can't do it even without the change of others but I believe it will be TONS easier when we are all making more of an effort to be physically, spiritually and emotionally healthy and strong. I think the personal strides we each make to love ourselves a bit more than gives someone else the space and ability to do the same for themselves. We are all ONE BIG HAPPY family!! That is just such a neat feeling for me. I LOVE IT!!

I am finally done for today. I have done good with the posting so far, eh? God bless you all.

Abundant peace,
Rachel

__._,_.___

by Rachel Talley

Healing Our Lives

Ok, here is the email I received last night from a friend. She is SO sweet and always emailing me to let me know what she thinks of my recent post. I really LOVE it when people email me and let me know some inspiring thoughts about what I post. But...I wanted to just share this because I will be posting more and thought others might be interested in some of the emails I receive in regards to my blog.


Rachel

I have really missed your blogs - I keep checking every few days and they always lift me when you post. I can understand how it would be hard to come up with things you think are of interest. I enjoyed your thoughts on the conference talk. I also just enjoy hearing about your life and how you work through your struggles and what you eat each day - those things are interesting to me. For me, you don't always have to have a subject to talk on - I just enjoy knowing how your doing and what your doing and the struggles you face each day. Helps me get through some of min.

Thank you so much for taking your time to write.
After reading this, I decided I would try to be more diligent in my posting. Thanks Torey for prodding me forward and keeping me on track.

Since she stated she would like to know of my daily struggles, here is one. About a week ago I got a yeast infection. Before starting raw foods, I had SEVERE candida issues and even after eating raw they have come and gone. They became much more manageable after my diet change but still not fully under control like I would like it to be. Of course, until recently, I had no idea they were probably emotionally based. As I look back at times of when and where I was in my life when I got one, it was ALWAYS a stressful, overwhelming time. It was always a time when I felt extremely anger and resentful of my present moment in life. I would be feeling unsupported and unloved.

There is an EXCELLENT book that I read years ago but decided to pull out and look at after the return of another infection. It is called "You Can Heal Your Life." I LOVE Louise Hay. She was one of the first to discuss the idea of "thoughts as things." She even has put together a Internet radio station that has TONS and TONS of AMAZING and INSPIRING talks and discussion by people who have learned from life and are now helping to motivate and teach others.

Anywho, I was flipping through her book and wondering what yeast infections meant emotionally and what do you know, feeling unsupported! Big shocker for me, eh? So......I was thinking about this. I was thinking that I don't consciously feel unsupported or that I am not taking time for myself. Then I started praying that if this was really true for me, which I was already believing it must be from past experience, then it must be true now. And sure enough, through God's grace and love, I started to recognize my anger and resentment toward myself and my husband and oh....pretty much everyone. It is SUCH a WONDERFUL thing to be able to pray for answers and then GET THEM. It was interesting the way the answer came. It came in a way where instead of the Lord telling me what I wasn't seeing, I all of a sudden started seeing what I hadn't been before. I started noticing my feelings that I normally ignore and act like aren't there but then over time just fester until one day I have a total EXPLOSIONS.

The yeast infection is kind of a blessing and a hardship, as most learning experiences are. I realized that this time I didn't blow but I created self sabotaging behavior and attacked myself instead of attacking others. I tend to go back and forth with this behavior. This is another thing I am trying to work on. Really, as soon as I something is open to me to notice whether it be physical or emotional, that I will IMMEDIATELY take it to the Lord and ask for help and understanding. Then use the atonement to help me move through the pain I really don't need to carry.

I have been doing my emotional and spiritual work and it has helped A LOT with the infection but I also decided to try some herbal remedies that have ALWAYS worked. They are powerful and very effective. It is the Garden's of Life "Fungal Defense." To be honest, I LOVE Garden of Life's products more than most. With all of my bowel issues, when I am in a pickle or just feel the need to take something, I usually turn to their products along with my powdered green drink.

The products have worked WONDERS and I am feeling MUCH better. I feel so blessed that Mother Earth, through our Creator, has provided so MUCH abundance to aid us in staying healthy and strong. I am VERY grateful for herbs and plants that help our bodies help themselves. Such a AMAZING gift!!!

What have I been eating? Hmmmm, well, my diet consists of about 90% raw foods. I am still LOVING some of the cooked foods I am eating. I think from a physical stand point, one of the reasons for the yeast infection was the HIGH fat foods I had been eating. They were still considered VERY healthy but TONS more fat than I have been used to so I have cut WAY down on my fat intake. I went off all fats for a week as soon as the infection begun. I am now eating some fats but keeping it at smaller amounts for what I am used too.

Since I am going to be posting more, I will start posting what I have been eating again. It is still hard for me to post it since it is not all raw. I tend to feel that I might be judged by some of the more local hard core raw foodists but I will have to learn to get over that, I guess. I am sure I am still judging myself harshly because I am an idealist and I feel I am letting myself down in some way. OH brother!! What a great opportunity to get over it!!

October 24th I ate:
2 heaping tbsp. green powder and Vit. C mixed in OJ
2 quarts green drink
Lots of grapes
5 rounds of garlic and herb polenta mixed with lots of salad greens and salsa YUMMY!!
4-5 small pieces of grilled sliced potatoes
Tons of steamed green beans with salt and nutritional yeast

I think that is it for today. I hope everyone is well and will check back more often.

Abundant peace,
Rachel

P.S. I hope everyone knows that when I talk about supplements on my blog, I am NOT trying to sell anything. I just thought it might be helpful and interesting to others to know what has worked for me. I get NOTHING by stating what supplements I use. Just thought I would add that.

by Rachel Talley

The Great Commandment

I know I haven't been blogging much lately, AGAIN! I hope everyone just keeps checking back to see when I might post. In order for me to not feel so stressed out with it all, I have decided that when I have time to post something interesting I will. And when I don't, I will just post an inspiring quote or something that means a lot to me. The quotes I recently posted I absolutely LOVE!! I hope others are inspired by them also.

Well, we recently had General Conference which I thought was AMAZING! I was VERY inspired by some of the talks and felt prompted to share my favorite with you all. I may post my second favorite sometime soon but even if you have already read it, I recommend reading it again and again. This talk was especially BEAUTIFUL because Brother Wirthlin is old and was having a hard time standing while giving it so another loving man came a stood behind and held him up as he was feeling weak. He helped him to remain strong. Don't we all do that for each other. We are here to help hold each other up! We are here to preach of Christ and ask Him to help us find strength when we feel weak. We can definitely lean on each other when need be but the ultimate gift from our Savior is that he will ALWAYS be there for us even when others cannot. When we choose to let His shining LIGHT and LOVE into our hearts, we can then more fully feel grateful for the life, death and resurrection of our brother and closest friend, Jesus Christ. I shed tears at such a act of LOVE during a AWESOME talk that spoke of LOVE! I hope all of you will feel that same feeling of hope, faith and peace as you read and reread this talk!

Abundant peace,
Rachel

Here is the link to the talk: http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-775-10,00.html

Here is the actual talk. God bless!!

The Great Commandment

by Rachel Talley

Kindness

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love." ~ Lao-Tzu

by Rachel Talley

Love, Love, Love

"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius."
~ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

by Rachel Talley

Faith vs. Fear

I want to share how OVERWHELMED I am by the respond from my last post. I was VERY surprised. I was concerned that I might be judged or misunderstood but found people to be the exact opposite. I have learned so much just through this experience. I felt loved in a place where I was feeling down about myself and some of my current choices. It felt GREAT to know that even in my humanness and weaknesses that people would still LOVE and ACCEPT me. I have had a hard time loving and accepting this part of myself. It is SO WONDERFUL to think that if others can love and accept me in these choices, then I definitely can love and accept myself. I think want to thank EVERYONE who responded and send words of support and compassion. I can’t truly express in words how much it meant to me. So….thank you my fellow brothers and sisters!!

Chris and I needed to take a last minute trip back east to purchase more cars for our little business. I have had time this morning to ponder and pray upon a few thoughts I had during and after reading my scriptures. I was reading in The Book of Mormon in Alma 29 where Alma is rejoicing in the Lord and the power of repentance and redemption. There was a particular scripture which spoke to my Soul and I wanted to post it here for you. It can be found in Alma 29:4-5.

"I ought not harrow up in my desires, the firm decree of a just God, for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desires, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that He allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction.

Yea, and I know that good and evil come before all men; he that knoweth not good from evil is blameless; but he that knoweth good and evil, to him it is given according to his desires, whether he desireth good or evil, life or death, joy or remorse of conscience."

I have read this scripture I don't know how many times but this time it struck me. I firmly believe that we create our current situation throughout all of life. Whatever we see in our present existence is what we have choose for ourselves, whether to learn from or find joy and happiness in. I say, "to learn from" because I have found that once I choose to become a true disciple of Christ, by recognizing the need for utilizing the repentance process on a daily basis, I no longer feel the desire to be stuck in my unhappy state. If I choose to look at my unhappy state and long for the desire of my Creators LOVE in my life, then I choose to look at that situation as learning ground of how I have moved away from what the Lord would have me be.

I was reading on in chapter 30 about Korihor and who he was. As it states, he was the anti-Christ and was preaching to the people that there was no Christ. I found it interesting at the end of the chapter, that Kohihor is given the sign he requested by being struck dumb and then others are motivated to make any changes that need be to once again turn their hearts to Christ. As I was praying on this matter, I was questioning the Lord about why, it seems, fear must be used to aid in bringing about a change of heart for his sons and daughters.

I was outside on the lawn of our hotel smoking our pipe. I was looking around at the beautiful trees and listening to the sounds of life all around me. It wasn't long ago that I realized that of all the living species on earth, human beings are the only ones who do not inherently follow all of God's laws. All other life obeys His will for them and follows the measure of their creation at his command. It isn't until humans become involved in the change or even derangement of God's makings that we find His laws might then be thwarted by that particular species.

As I pondered this idea of fear, some of my first thoughts were that of the AMA or even our government. Over the past several years, I have come to understand that fear is a VERY good tactic to control the masses. A great example of this would be Adolf Hitler and the control he took over people and countries because he instilled fear into their hearts.

I must just say that as I have learned how to better ponder and pray upon questions and ideas that I might have, I have found the EXTREME and UTTER little I actually know. But...I believe that there are MANY things in our current lives that can be used for good or bad. An example of that would be television. There are MANY educational and uplifting shows that can be watched on TV but as we know, we can also become addicted to it and waste away our lives spending and over abundance of time in front of it when we could be doing something more productive. The computer is the same way.

I believe God uses fear to aid in our motivation of turning our hearts to him because we choose to be taught in this manner. It states in a later chapter in Alma 32:16-17.

"Therefore, blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble; or rather, in other words, blessed is he that believeth in the word of God, and is baptized without stubbornness of heart, yea, without being brought to know the word, or even compelled to know, before they will believe.

Yea, there are many who do say: If thou wilt show unto us a sign from heaven, then we shall know of a surety: then we shall believe."

I can tell you that up until the present moment 99% of the time, I have been "compelled" to be humble. Just like the verse in chapter 29 tells us, we choose what we want and how we want to learn in this life. If we choose to learn by being "compelled" or by "being afraid", then God will use this tactic because he LONGS to have our hearts turn to Him. Throughout all of the Book of Mormon, God is "compelling" the people because of their hard heartedness and wickedness and inability to truly repent. This is why, in my opinion, God uses SO much fear throughout the scriptures. We are choosing to learn this way instead of using faith and repentance to bring about the connection with God, which I believe is inherently inside all of us.

Alma goes on in the next several verses discussing what faith is and how it is NOT the perfect knowledge of something and how we apply it in our lives. He is teaching what we need to look for and gives us exactly what we will see in order to find the good in something. These next few verses are some of my favorite verses in the Book of Mormon. They have helped me SO MANY times when I find something which I think is good but need help from the Lord to discern if it truly is or not.

Alma is discussing how faith is like a seed that when planted and is a good seed will grow and flourish but we must FIRST experiment upon the teachings of what the good is, in order to find the truth of it or not. He states in starting in Alma 32:27-28

"But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to Swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves-It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to Enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to Enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be Delicious to me."

Now the COOLEST part about this scripture is that what the Spirit of the Lord does in regards to the feelings and sensations we receive, actually spells the word SEED!! My sister learned his technique on her mission and passed it along to me. Thanks Kimmy!! This is how I remember when I am wanting to know the truth and goodness of something new I might be searching to understand.

S=Swells within our breast
E=Enlargeth our souls
E=Enlightens our minds
D=it becomes Delicious to us!!

The part I find quite interesting about that scripture is that it almost sounds like we might fight something that might be good by "casting it out." I was wondering if we might do that because we feel afraid. Here again we have fear playing a part in our learning and progression. The way I see it, our current knowledge and understanding or even one step further, our misguided judgments might make it harder, if not almost impossible, to see the good and truth in something. We then would hinder ourselves on our path to light and wisdom which would bring us closer to God.

Again, this takes me back to our own creative power in our lives. I believe that there are no mistakes, only paths to or from our Creator and his infinite LOVE!! We can choose to disregard something that might be good and of God because of our own present understanding. I have found that sometimes when I find something to be good but have turned away from it, it is because good brings out the light of God within us all. Sometimes we hold ourselves back from His light for fear of his acceptance and LOVE!! I do believe, and have recently gained faith in, the fact that God LOVES us all no matter what choices we may be making. His only desire for us to relearn how to FULLY connect with Him and be always FULLY conscious and present with all our choices so they will only reflect his LOVE in all things.

As I am learning how to really repent and seek forgiveness in my life, I have found that in order to truly let God's love and acceptance in, I must first let go of the negative emotions, beliefs, and energy that have kept me from His love. I have found this can be painful at times. This is why, I believe, there might be times when I can recognize on some level, that something might be good but turn my heart and understanding from it. Because if I recognize and see the goodness in it, then I might just have to "let go" of a something negative which I had believed was really serving me. But....as I learn to let go of it and repent for it and then place it at my Savior's feet, my heart and my mind become more open and responsive to the good and truth I maybe didn't see before.

I hope what I have written here makes sense. I am sure not all will agree but I feel the information I have received here, for me, is of God and I felt inspired to share it with you all.

So....onto the diet situation. I have been pondering and praying A LOT about my current diet choices. I am still deciding exactly where I am at and what is best for me, at the present moment. I am actually learning that I was still eating a raw foods diet, MOSTLY out of fear. I do believe the raw food in my life is truly a gift from God. I am finding that even though it is a gift, when life becomes hard, like is has been lately, and I may fall off the bandwagon, all my faith that God will still keep me healthy and strong goes DOWN the drain. Why wouldn't he? Am I not striving to be a true disciple of Christ and fully utilize the atonement on a daily basis?

I believe that God knows where I am at and understands the need to completely decipher my present choices and beliefs. I also believe that God LOVES me enough to still take care of me even when it seems I am making choices that might go against my education on a certain subject, like raw foods. I have known for years that there are SO many other factors that play into our health other than just physical but...it seems this insight is just barely creeping into understanding.

So….since I am on this trip, I have decided to put off the green smoothie cleanse. I am planning on doing one within the next week or so. For those who were interested in doing it with me, keep me posted of when might work for you!!
You know, I will be real honest, I am really having a hard time finding the desire to go back to 100%. I still drink green smoothies everyday and actually don’t eat anything cooked (if I do eat anything cooked that day) until dinner time. Like the other day, I ate some of my powdered green drink with apple juice for breakfast, then for lunch I had about a quart and a half of green smoothies, and then dinner was a sprouted wheat tortilla with olive oil, chopped spinach, soaked dulse, sliced tomatoes, and fresh basil. I must admit, it was DELICIOUS!!

I figure when the time is right for me, I will feel it and just jump back on the bandwagon of 100% raw again. But…I am learning how much I dislike the labels we give each other. It prevents us from really feeling the love and strength of others because of our judgments. Once the labels are placed, our mind instantly places that person a little box that holds back or even makes stronger any deep connection we might make with that person. Depending on if our judgment of that label is “good or bad”. I have found that the closer I strive to understand the life of my Creator, the more my heart softens and I understand others choices. I find there is no box I put them in, just openness in trying to understand who they really are and love them in that place. I hope that I can get better and better at this. I find life is MUCH more peaceful when God’s grace works with me in this manner.

I hope this doesn’t disappoint anyone that I have still eaten some cooked food. Some of the responses I had about the last post were similar to my same feelings about not being a strict with their raw diets right now. Others just felt that they were also going through so much emotionally, that staying on an all raw diet was just too tough for them at the moment. I have one friend who can feel how raw food really opens her up and she finds it is too much emotionally. She feels much better when she incorporates some cooked to keep her a bit more balanced at this time in her life. This is why I feel it is VITAL that when we decide to incorporate more raw foods, especially if you are considering an all raw diet, that emotional processing and energy work play a large part, along with the physical changes. I hope everyone understands that I ABSOLUTELY believe an all raw diet IS the healthiest way to eat. I am sure that in the near future I will feel more of a need to move back into that space of eating all raw. I am just having FUN with life right now and doing what I can to let go of control and fear and finding the faith I need to own who I really am and what I stand for. My hope is that I can stand for PEACE and LOVE and GENTLENESS and UNDERSTANDING with ourselves and others. I have found that as I have made these dietary choices, it has made it easier for me to truly decide why and how I want to apply raw foods in my life. I do feel very blessed to be going through this and am striving to gather in all the wisdom from my friends, like all of you, so I can know that I have made a conscious and LOVING choice with whatever I put into my mouth.

It is such a blessing that I am married to a VERY balanced man. He has helped me SO MUCH to put these things into perspective. When I get down on myself for what I had eaten or am feeling like a failure, he helps me see the reality of the situation and understand that life IS NOT about food. Life is about finding God, joy, peace and LOVE!!! Do I believe that eating organic food directly from Mother Earth, with it’s high vibration, can assist us in receiving all of those things, of course!!! But…Chris helps me understand that what I am eating is still FREAKISHLY healthy!! That I can be gentle with myself and let myself feel loved, at times, when I need to feel it through eating foods that I might not normally eat. I find it interesting though that whenever I eat anything cooked, my heart is just SO MUCH MORE grateful for it then it would have EVER been in the past. I shouldn't say it is just with cooked foods but all foods.

I was talking with a friend on the phone the other day who has been going through similar issues. She has found she is finding so MUCH joy in all the organic, local produce. She was telling me how she was getting all kinds of SCRUMPTIOUS foods from her garden and from local farmers. She couldn't believe that by being conscious of this choice to be more conscious of where her food was coming from, really filled her heart with LOVE and SERENITY for Mother Earth and God. She is seeing all the gifts in these foods that they are giving her. I was so happy for her. She is moving through some deep emotional issues also and feels just seeing the beauty in all around her, helped her find the peace she is looking for. I must say, I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with her. I am grateful for our conversation. It uplifted my spirits and I also thanked God for these gifts.

I think I have officially just babbled this whole post. It may not be as exciting as the last but I hope everyone will still comment. I just LOVED that so many stepped forward and really shared their deep feelings about themselves. WE were all vulnerable and in that space we all found that we truly are all the same. We are all ONE!! We are connected through the power of LOVE!!!

Abundant peace to all,

Rachel

by Rachel Talley

Love & Emotional Eating

So....I have been emotionally eating.
This year has been HUGE in regards to moving through some pretty strong energy and false beliefs. This time my eating has been so bad that I have been binging on some cooked foods. Can you believe it? I have been grateful for the experience though. I have been learning so much about the raw food diet and why I am eating it. Nothing new just different insights. It has been somewhat ironic to me because as of about a week ago, I was eating and feeling, physically, better than I ever have. Well, I should say that when I am "cleansing", I am not feeling too hot. But with how I have been eating over the past year or so, what I have eaten for the past week has been SOOOOOO out of the loop for me. I have eaten things like corn tortillas, slightly grilled veggies, sprouted wheat tortillas and even a couple slices of sprouted wheat bread. I think that is pretty much it. I eat all raw during the day but for the past 5 days, when evening comes I end up succumbing to eating something that I know isn't ideal for my body or where I want to be physically.

I know it doesn't sound like that big of a deal but last time I ate anything even remotely cooked was when I first came out of the hospital 2 1/2 years ago. Because of my HUGE amounts of pride, I actually considered not writing about it on my blog. I wanted to try to keep this raw food facade I had and have made for myself. That I was some great raw foodist. What a joke eh? I truly have eaten an all raw diet for 5 years but have had moments here and there where either I want to try something to experiment with how my body will react to it or I am emotionally eating. I think there have been only a handful of times in the past 5 years that I have done it. But....I felt the need to share with others so I could break any false beliefs about myself I might have thrown out there.

To be completely honest, the whole situation has been OVERWHELMINGLY weird for me. I am trying to really wrap my head around the strong food addictions that are still so present in my emotional psyche. It's kind of funny because I vacillate between being grateful for the deep emotional baggage I am bringing forth and being able to work on and feeling completely down trodden because in some way I am letting myself down or even others. Can you believe it?

Some of the things I have learned is I DO NOT like the way I feel and look with the way I am currently eating. With my previous diet, my nails for the first time in my life, were growing long and strong. Just with 5 days of dehydrating my body with the cooked food, I have already had 3 nails break from becoming too brittle. Then morning fatigue is another side effect I am not appreciating. Oh, and I have also learned that emotionally eating (well I think I have already learned this before but now it is on a deeper level) doesn't EVER do the trick. I am hoping to feel better by eating what I really want but then find it to be a vicious cycle because I don't feel as good as I normally do so then I emotionally eat more. See the cycle here!! I am sure many of my readers have already figured this scenario out but I am a slow learner.

Another aspect of my learning is that even when you are not eating as ideally as you might like, you can still be so grateful for the food and puts LOADS of love into it and it almost transform the food into being MUCH easier to digest. I know that sounds a bit wacky but I TOTALLY believe it. Imagine as a child when your mom makes you those Chocolate Chip cookies you love so much. When you get home from school they are there waiting for you with milk. You know with the VERY first bite HOW MUCH your Mom loves you. I absolutely believe this can make a HUGE difference into how well we digest and assimilate it. The times when I was feeling lousy about choosing to eat something that I normally don't eat guaranteed I felt sicker after eating it. But....when I decided I was going to go ahead and eat it and LOVE it and ENJOY it to the fullest, the effects that I might have felt previous never become present. My final consensus is that when we choose to eat something that we know is not "great" for us, we might consider finding love for our food with the hopes that we can find peace all around. If we are educating ourselves and striving to listen and hear what our body and spirit is saying, we can then hopefully move through any eating that we might be doing because of emotional feelings.

I am now back to eating like I want to and how I feel best. I am going to do a green smoothie cleanse for the next week. If there is anyone interested in doing it with me, I would LOVE it!!! Right now, I need all the help I can get! I am feeling quite lost and confused in LOTS of aspects of my life. I feel I am letting go of so much and really finding who I truly am. I am grateful for the opportunity to humble myself and turn my heart to God. I need His help MOST of all!! But...feeling loved and supported by others is VERY important too!! I am SO grateful to all my friends and loved ones who stick by me through thick and thin and let me know that no matter how low I may feel, they are there to help lift and inspire me. Thank you dear ones!!

This is all for tonight. Thanks you everyone for being my continuous readers. I feel LOVED!!

Abundant peace to you all,
Rachel

by Rachel Talley